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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23089486">Eight Times He Heard 'No', and the One Time He Heard 'Yes'</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cers/pseuds/Cers'>Cers</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Found Family, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Post C2E97, Post C2E98, Post Campaign, background fjorclay, no angst! only fluff!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:00:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,976</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23089486</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cers/pseuds/Cers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"And Essek just decided then and there that he was going to marry this man. </p><p>And thus started a swift research binge into Empire courting and proposal practices. There were multiple rituals and customs. From fruit-throwing, to poetry, and generous gift-giving. But there was one thread common throughout his research that stuck out to him: gain the blessings from the intended’s family. "</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Caduceus Clay/Fjord, Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, The Mighty Nein &amp; Essek Thelyss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>78</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>757</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Beauregard</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He’s already swaying side to side, hands wringing. This shouldn’t be hard. It <em> isn’t </em>hard. It’s the easiest decision for him in his one-hundred-and-twenty-years. Come on Thelyss. They’d spoken about it briefly. Both leaning warmly to the ideas. But made no plans. </p><p>Until now. </p><p>It was a simple moment. Nothing out of the ordinary. It was just a typical morning when Caleb had spent the night in his tower. Just another night of research going late into the wee hours before devolving into what Jester would call a ‘make out session’. Fairly standard events. For them. </p><p>Essek required little rest, and after thoroughly mussing up his lover, escorted him to bed before taking care of small domestic chores. And it was a few hours later, while he pet Frumpkin at their breakfast table, that Caleb rejoined the world of the waking. </p><p>It was surreal, the nights Caleb went back to the Xhorhaus for whatever reason. It left his tower feeling emptier, more hollow. Less warm. There was no soft breathing coming from the dark silken sheets of his bed. No half-asleep tender Zemnian murmurs of love as Essek reminds Caleb that they have appointments that day. </p><p>Essek doesn’t like it. But Caleb has family at the Xhorhaus and organises time between them. Essek isn’t jealous, he has an open invitation to stay there and visit whenever he likes. Often-times he <em> does </em> accompany Caleb. But he appreciates that they still need their <em> them </em>time. </p><p>But this morning was different. Not in the way that the weather was out of sorts, or there was an impending threat looming over them. No, not any more. But in the way that when Essek heard Caleb’s footfalls on the stairs, his hand stopped petting Frumpkin. Frumpkin protested, but Essek was too focussed on the <em> thump-thump-thump </em> of his heart in anticipation. He heard the little sniffs coming from his beloved barely-conscious wizard, and titled his head to the door in anticipation of the sleepy sight. </p><p>Dressed in only a plain top and loose breeches (no socks), Caleb stumbles into his breakfast nook. Essek knows this routine, and usually has a cup of Caduceus’ tea (not as well brewed but Caleb has never complained) ready and waiting. But not this morning. This morning he was distracted by thoughts from last night. Of frenzied research and sweeter kisses. Of soft goodnights and tender affections. </p><p>And then he was entranced by a grumpy-faced man, with wild bed hair, scruff dotting his jawline (what a jawline). A man who stumbles over sleepily and just places a long kiss to the top of Essek’s well-styled hair, one hand squeezing his shoulder fondly before unceremoniously plopping down in a - <em> his </em>- chair. </p><p>And Essek just decided then and there that he was going to marry this man. </p><p>And thus started a swift research binge into Empire courting and proposal practices. There were multiple rituals and customs. From fruit-giving, to poetry, and generous gift-giving. But there was one thread common throughout his research that stuck out to him: <em> gain the blessings from the intended’s family.  </em></p><p>Which is how he found himself floating back and forth on the doorstep of the Xhorhaus, wringing his hands in nervous conduct. And that his thoughts were so loud that he didn’t notice stomping footsteps approaching the house and a rising voice -</p><p>“- Yeah and I’ll get the damn ferret food too! Don’t you wo- oh! <em> Heeey </em>Essek!” </p><p>Essek stills like a captured criminal caught lurking at their house in the sudden light. The silhouette of an energetic Beauregard holds the door open wide. </p><p>“Do you want to see Caleb? I’ll just get him - <em> HEY CAL </em>-” </p><p>“No! Please, I just- um… oh, perhaps this was not a good idea.” </p><p>She cuts off and her expression turns from happy surprise to immediate concern. She spares one glance towards the inside of the house before pulling the door closed behind her a little. A shard of light filters onto the pathway, cutting across him. She’s immediately on alert. </p><p>“What is it, what’s up? You in trouble? Are <em> we </em>in trouble? Is there-”</p><p>“No, nothing that severe. It’s...<em> about </em> Caleb.” </p><p>She rears up, face fierce. “What’s he done? He hurt you? Listen man, I love him like my brother but if he’s hurt you I <em> swear </em>I’ll kick his-”</p><p>He cuts across her, an hand reaching out in a gentle manner. Essek’s chest warmed at the sentiment, but thought it best to halt the monk’s tirade before his beloved got hurt. “It’s ah- nothing like that, but thank you.” He offers her what he hopes is a reassuring smile. It seems to work as she raises an eyebrow, but backs down. She folds her arms across her chest. </p><p>“All right, what’s the matter then?” It’s then that she notices his levitation. He steps down before she can comment. “Dude you’re freaking me out, you haven’t floated around us in a long time. We usually have to remind you of it when you’re out now. What’s got you so off-kilter?”</p><p>He runs through a few opening sentences but nothing sticks, his mouth opening and closing most ungraciously. He pinches his brow with his fingers. This was ridiculous. He used to be the <em> Shadowhand </em>for Light’s sake. He could handle court, surely he could handle this. It was only a question.</p><p>Start small, and work up. Yes. That’s a good strategy. </p><p>Feeling the weight of the mantle (newer, less ostentatious) on his shoulders to ground him he takes a deep breath and straightens his back. </p><p>“It is nothing to be alarmed about, I am merely nervous. I apologise. May I accompany you on your errands if it is not too much trouble? We can discuss it then, if appropriate.”</p><p>The look she gives is nothing short of calculating and guarded. Her internal debate plays across her face openly before she settles on cautious agreement. “All right then, but you’re helping me carry this shit.” </p><p>“Hah, very well then.”</p><p>They leave and he eventually has to resort to gliding once more to keep up with her quick strides. </p><p>She’s only going to the market for sundries it turns out, and she allows him to make idle commentary and chit chat on the local wares. It is a testament to how settled they are here that the oddities of their group -for Rosohna- no longer stare at a brazen human, haggling over the price of food. In fact some of them expect it, and one even compliments her for improving. Beau offer him a cocky grin and a <em> high-five </em>. In fact most of them, those that knew of his former position, are more surprised to see him at the market. He comments as much. </p><p>Beau just offers a shrug and unloads a netted bag of fruit and vegetables on him. This carries on for a little longer until her task is complete and she can only go so long on their trek back before cornering him near a well-tended garden. He escorts her calmly to a carved bench, depositing her purchases carefully beside them before gathering himself. </p><p>Counter to her usual perpetually-on-the-go energy, he finds her watching him with a practiced stillness and patience. He decides to not test the limits of that however. </p><p>“I have had a... revelation recently. Quite a striking one in fact. And it terrifies and thrills me. I… have realised that I do not wish to be separated from Caleb. In every way I can, I wish to be his and he to be mine.” He pauses to gather his thoughts and risks a glancer in her direction.</p><p>And finds a horrified face awaiting him. “Oh my god!” Her peaceful stillness evaporated, she waves her arms in the air and all but jumps up. “Oh my <em> god </em> ! Essek I-  I don’t want to <em> hear about your and Caleb’s sex life! </em> Jeez!” She gapes and gawps at him in horror. “He’s like <em> my brother </em> , man!” She’s already a few steps away from the bench before Essek can correct her. But he doesn’t have to as she freezes. And slowly turns to him, eyes wide. “Wait! <em> Wait </em> .” She cautiously approaches him as though he were a wild animal. “Are you… do you.. Are you saying you want to <em> marry </em>him?” she ends in a whisper. </p><p>Essek lifts his chin and gives a firm nod. “Yes, I would very much like that.” </p><p>Beau regards him for a full minute before coming slowly to sit cross-legged on the bench once more. Shock manifests into seriousness as she turns to him, eyes solemn. </p><p>“No.”</p><p>“I.. beg your pardon?”  It wasn’t the expected answer, but he would be lying if there wasn’t some dark part of his mind that said he wasn’t good enough for Caleb and that of <em> course </em> the Mighty Nein wouldn’t approve look at his history courting was one thing but <em> marriage-  </em></p><p>“No. Whatever this-” she waves a hand between them, “- is, I have no say in it. It’s between you and him.” </p><p>Oh. <em> Oh.  </em></p><p>Whatever ice had begun to crystallise within him in the last few minutes shatters and melts. </p><p>“Beauregard, forgive me. I was not, and <em> am not </em> asking for your permission, I will only ask Caleb that. I am asking for your blessing. I have read several books that detailed the customs of the Empi-”</p><p>A sound of skin-on-skin interrupts him as Beau slaps a hand to her forehead. “<em> Of course </em> you read a fucking book about proposals. Gods you two are <em> literally perfect </em>for each other. It’s disgusting to be quite honest.”</p><p>But then she looks at him fondly for a moment, and in a surprise gesture, reaches across and takes his hand. She’s warm, it’s nice. “Look man, you’re family too now. And yeah things got off to a pretty rocky start with the whole, y’know, <em> traitor business </em> . But look at how far you’ve come! How you’ve changed! <em> What </em> you’ve done. What you’ve done for <em> him </em> . For me. For <em> us </em>. Of course you have my blessing- not that you need it.” and her hands pull away to punch him on the shoulder. “You’re already part of the family, man!”</p><p>Her knowing grin is quite infectious. </p><p>One down, he thinks with a nervous smile. One down. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Fjord</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His next opportunity comes two days later, after a usual rowdy dinner at the Xhorhaus. The others had retreated to the ‘Happy Room’ upstairs when Fjord has offered to clean up  tonight. (Caleb had told them that there was a chore wheel somewhere in the house but he suspects Veth and Jester use it to play darts). Essek saw the window for what it was and announced he too would help. Caleb gave him a surprised smile and a quick kiss before being hustled upstairs for a new card game Jester had learned. Caduceus tries to stay, but Fjord hushed him away gently citing the lovely dinner they just had and l<em> et us take care of this, okay?    </em></p><p>And so the two men found themselves carrying dishes and scraping food. He chuckles, if only Essek of a few years ago could see him now. He ruminates on their loud meal, their joyous chatter. The food was unusual still even after all this time, but delicious nevertheless. Caduceus was experimenting with Xhorhassian foods more and more as his garden outside grew. </p><p>“You two are very sweet together,” Essek comments, hoping it’s the springboard he needs it to be, and sets a dried, clean dish to the side. He picks up another and wipes it down.</p><p>Fjord gives him a curious look but it melts into a soft smile. “Yeah, he’s always taking care of me- of us. It’s nice to remind him to relax too, y’know?” </p><p>Essek thinks of Caleb, up too late at nights, engrossed in a book or paper. Of a surprise shoulder massage when something irks Essek in his calculations. Of a kiss in the morning on top of his head. Of gently chiding Caleb that he had dinner plans and that the spell could wait otherwise Beauregard would kill them both. Yes. Essek was very familiar with the concept. </p><p>“Indeed. You two <em> are… </em>together, correct? Have I read that right?” Fjord’s head ducks down to a blush, but he gives an affirmative. That was very sweet. “Ah, I’m glad to not have misinterpreted. Are you also...wed?” He pushed the ‘proper social’ boundaries just a little, hoping it was enough.</p><p>Now Fjord’s murmur dissolves into a full stutter. “Ah well that’s- that’s a complicated question y’see because - well, I’m from - and he’s from the - and it’s - though he did give me - uh. There’s never been like, an official ceremony? But not sure we need it and- ”</p><p>Essek puts the man out of his misery and raises a hand, “I apologise, I didn’t mean to intrude. I simply ask because I will- I <em> hope </em>to find myself in the same situation very soon.”</p><p>Normally Fjord keeps to himself, popping out straight-faced humour for his companions before fading to be one of the quieter personalities of the group. But as Essek finishes talking, he stands several inches aboves Essek, no longer worried about dishes and scraps and food. He holds his full attention now. </p><p>“You - I’m sorry, did you say you want<em> to be married </em>? </p><p>As with Beau, he nods in the affirmative and awaits the reaction. “Yes, I did. I do.”</p><p>“Mmmm...no?” Fjord looks more confused than anything which does little to relieve Essek’s nerves. </p><p>“Oh. May...may I ask why not?” He tries to hide his disappointment, and his hurt.</p><p>“I mean, do you mean that you want to marry...<em> me </em> ? Or- or <em> Caduceus </em> ? Because we’re somewhat committed to each other only- and there’s the Wildmother- and you’re a fine man Essek, but I thought you were kinda with Caleb and- <em> ohh </em>.” He has the grace to look sheepish as all the dots connected. Essek suppresses a sigh of relief. </p><p>And then Fjord immediately sobers up. Essek feels that height difference very pointedly now as he looks up at the man, but holds firm. The abashed expression morphs into apprehension and then to an appraising look, eyebrow cocked. It was uncanny how alike he and Beauregard could be. Except where she was on the defensive, Fjord was the opposite. Arming himself with a seniority and confidence only associated with protecting the Nein, the paladin looks down his nose at the former Shadowhand and crosses his arms. </p><p>The kitchen chore now forgotten, distant laughter and thumping upstairs of their shared loved ones filled the silence. </p><p>Fjord’s gaze bores into Essek, and like with Beau he steels himself against the scrutiny. Fjord gives a sniff. </p><p>“You going to make him happy?”</p><p>Essek answers without hesitation. “With every waking moment I can. It has been my goal for the longest time, probably since he used a cat’s paw to open a door for me. There is nothing I wouldn’t give that man. Including myself.” </p><p>Fjord’s expression softens, and a hand claps his shoulder, squeezing if fondly. “Well that makes me mighty happy to hear, truly. Welcome to the family, Thelyss. It’s about damn time you made an honest wizard outta him!” </p><p>A breath releases from Essek and his legs feel boneless. He grabs Fjord’s arm for balance. </p><p>They both laugh just as a loud bang sounds upstairs, followed by excited shouting. </p><p>Fjord chuckles again, steadying him. “Welcome to the family indeed.” </p><p>Two down, he thinks.  </p><p>Two down. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Yasha</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>His moment with Yasha comes one morning after the Nein returned from a creature hunt. Nothing world-ending, more just violent creatures overreaching their boundaries and threatening innocent villagers. They still liked to do some work like this when they could. Heroes of the Dynansty </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> the Empire, they’d want for nothing. A lot of these jobs they did for free, often helping out other bits and pieces wherever they went also. Anything from healing, to gifting coin, to mending and building. There was nothing they couldn’t do. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>From what Caleb tells him, they have truly evolved into pure altruism and he gets this wistful look mentioning leaving the world a better place than one found it. A sentiment he echoed to Essek, once upon a time. One he took to heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Essek has accompanied them a handful of times, but declined this time around citing work load and research this time. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but he recognised that even though he was welcomed with the Nein, Caleb still needed just time alone with them without him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even if Essek’s tower did feel hollow. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They had returned bruised, scraped and tired, but alive and whole according to Jester’s message this morning. Now, a couple hours later, he arrives at the Xhorhaus, healing items and breakfast foods in hand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He let himself in this time after being told (harassed) by Jester and Beau that he could time and time again. It was eerily quiet for such a usually raucous abode, the gentle tingle of the chimes coming to rest. Trails of items paved his way as he walked, evidence of life. A bo-staff resting on the wall there, a cloak thrown over the clock there. Dirtied boots haphazardly kicked off in two different directions. Some accompanying muddy footprints. A couple of bolts scattered on the stairs. A satchel slung on a door knob. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knew that if he was to walk through the other door in the library-study he would find an exhausted wizard passed out on his bed. Most likely face down. Probably with </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>boots still on. Hair definitely travel-tousled. Frumpkin purring contently beside him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Smiling softly at the image, he turns and navigates to the kitchen to deposit his wares. They’d find them when they woke no doubt. He decided to leave a note instead of disturbing anyone. There’s be paper and ink in the study. And upon turning to leave the kitchen he finds a tall figure blocking his path. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yasha stared at him intently, her sword in hand. There was a pregnant pause. Essek felt a heartbeat. Two. She drops her stance and lowers her greatsword.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I heard the chimes ring. Everyone else is sleeping,” was all she said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Essek swallowed his alarm. “Oh, I er- I apologise for startling you. I didn’t mean to intrude, I was simply bringing ...things.” He indicates the basket. “Jester and Beauregard have chided me for knocking in the past. If it’s a problem-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No! </span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>. No, it’s - it’s fine. I- I didn’t… I’m sorry. I was just a little jumpy.” She makes a show of putting the sword against the wall. “Are you … well?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks over her in a swift assessment. She still wears most of her battle gear, but divested of cloak and boots. A couple of fresh scratches decorates her arms, but nothing more severe than that to his quick glance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She would honestly have taken on anyone armed only with her sword. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Light, he hadn’t even heard her </span>
  <em>
    <span>approach</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Were he anyone else he may have been dead. Truly an incredible warrior of great skill. In her bare feet nonetheless. He didn’t know whether to feel pride or shame. He settled into an uneasy both. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am, thank you.” A few moments passed. “Would you perhaps, uh, like some fruit?” He waves again to the filled basket on the counter. She peers around him, and shakes her head softly, wild hair falling over her shoulders a little. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No. Thank you, though. The others- they… they will like them. I’m sure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gives a polite nod. They were both awkward at this, it was obvious. And usually he would attempt to let them both off the hook. But this was a moment he needed. Focusing on a point over her shoulders in the dining room, he readies himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“In that case, it’s actually nice to have you alone, Miss Yasha. I was wondering if I might ask you a personal question.” Her head perks up at that with a curious tilt, and while he was sure he already had her full attention, now her body was fully attuned his way. She gives him a slow, silent nod. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Forgive me if this is impertinent, but you have been- </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>uh, married?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The only change in her expression is a quick glance downwards and a tug at her mouth. “I am. I was. She died.” Essek had gathered as much from snippets of conversation with all of the Nein. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am very sorry to-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you love him?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I- what?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Caleb. Do you love him?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He levels her with a steady look. He shouldn’t find such open talk of affection unusual with any of the Nein by now, but it felt even more personal speaking with Yasha about it. She was usually quite withdrawn, the quiet protector and their interactions minimal. Not maliciously, but mutually. Caleb had confided that she was a dear friend. ‘A fellow introvert’ and, confusingly, a ‘shaving companion of the highest quality.’ There was a softness in his voice reserved for when he spoke about Yasha not prevalent for the others. They all had their own, unique tender tones whenever Caleb spoke of them. But hers was more revered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And it culminated in Caleb’s love for her, and now her love for him as she stared Essek down. Her mismatched eyes narrow, searching him for something, and mirroring Fjord’s cross-armed pose, she looks down at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He feels vulnerable and exposed under her scrutiny. But he’s already bared all to her - and the others- once before. This time it isn’t painful, there’s no sorrow or shame. It’s raw, yes, but not invasive. He strips his feelings and lays them out before her for Caleb with his answer. His voice is steady and deliberate and if it was the last truthful thing he could say for the rest of his lives, then he would pour everything into these three words. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes. I do .” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The moment stretches between them. Her silence is all he needs to hear, and he feels the rejection creeping upon him like cursed vines. It's not enough. It's not enough-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then she finds what she’s looking for, and she gives a very pretty smile. The vines fall and crumble, no longer threatening to suffocate him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Be kind to him, he deserves it. You both do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks down, heat rising to his face. “Thank you, Miss Yasha. That means a lot coming from a dear friend of Caleb’s. And of my own.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her smile grows wider and she gains her own blush. There’s another pause, but it’s not uncomfortable. “You know what,” she says. “ I think I will try some of that fruit. What about you, Essek?” She doesn’t usually refer to him by name, simply speaking in his direction. The familiarity… it’s nice. He feels like even though this moment was about him and Caleb, it held a subtle significance for himself and Yasha also. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smiles brightly. “Yes, I think I shall. Yasha.” Her own expression glows.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They amicably prepare and eat in friendly silence, enjoying their breakfast. The fruit is succulent and the company is comforting. He hears about their adventure and all its silly ups and hurtful downs. It’s a good way to start the morning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Three down, he thinks. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Jester</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jester doesn’t even let him bring up the subject on his own. She asked him to come shopping for an upcoming celebration, and he accepted on the basis that it would be ideal one-to-one time. Plus he was able to show her all the higher-end boutiques and tailors able to cater for her every want. It was a nice activity. He didn’t mind doing it every now and then when he felt a bit stale fashion-wise, rare as that was. He still kept to Dynasty trends, but had little colourful (tasteful) gifts and pieces here and there from around Wildemount now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb had given him a curious look that morning when Essek informed him of his plans, but kissed him goodbye and begged him to pick up a pastry for him and Frumpkin. Essek was quick to agree, mostly because it was a simple request that made Caleb happy, but also because Caleb usually tasted sweeter afterwards. He would never say it aloud, but the little crumb-kisses were among his favourites. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And so he retrieved Jester- happy, bouncing Jester - from the Xhorhaus and escorts her to the upper echelons of Rosohna for a day of ‘retail therapy’, in her words. All-in-all it’s a lovely outing. Jester had an eye for her friends’ tastes, as evidenced by the party in Nicodranas, with subtle input and additions from Essek. Some garnered a thoughtful look and a nod, while others provoked an immediate squeak of agreement. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>glad you came, Essek. Caduceus had other plans and it would have been boring to do it alone.” she chirped, holding a red-and-silver patterned silk piece. She scrunches her nose and puts it back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Would any of the others not have joined?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ohhhh, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>knooow</span>
  </em>
  <span>, they would have,” she trills while picking at tassels on a luxurious scarf. “But they don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>like </span>
  </em>
  <span>doing it. It’s much more fun with a friend who actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>likes </span>
  </em>
  <span>shopping.” She practically beamed at him and it was impossible to not love this woman. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am very glad to be of service.” He paused. “And yes,” he ponders, “it </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>nice to go out with friends isn’t it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She gives him a sad look, “oh Es</span>
  <em>
    <span>sek</span>
  </em>
  <span> did you really not have any friends before us?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A half-smile tugs at his mouth, and he tucks her hand into the crook of his arm, patting it affectionately. “No, not really. Not like yourselves.” No one was like The Mighty Nein. “I had associates. Acquaintances. Business partners-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ohhhhh like, you know,</span>
  <em>
    <span> business partners</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” her eyebrows wiggle dangerously, voice low and teasing. He rolls his eyes fondly and gently guides her along the streets. She giggles. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, not like that. I have had … </span>
  <em>
    <span>companions</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but nothing based in emotion. Or love.  Not like what I have now-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And of course that’s when they pass a prestigious jewellers. Who hosts a lavish selection of rings and trinkets in the window. The books had spoken about rings being a significant symbol of attachment. And now there’s a whole shop dedicated to them right before him. There’s extravagant ones and tastefully plain ones. Those in particular catch Essek’s eye. While he’s next to Jester Lavorre of all people. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Soooo when are you marrying </span>
  <em>
    <span>Caaay-leb</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Her voice is sickly sweet and grin all-knowing. For all he has been around her, he is still not used to her mischief. Which is why he splutters and looks away. </span>
  <em>
    <span>When had they stopped walking</span>
  </em>
  <span>? He considers undoing the last few seconds. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who-” he coughs, “who said I was marrying Caleb?” He had begged each one of those he had spoken to so far to not say anything to </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone </span>
  </em>
  <span>else and - despite a brief moment of teasing disbelief with Beau- he </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>trust them to keep to that word. If not for him then for Caleb-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ohhh no one but you </span>
  <em>
    <span>knooow </span>
  </em>
  <span>you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>pretty </span>
  </em>
  <span>obvious with the whole looking at </span>
  <em>
    <span>wedding rings,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” she sing-songs. “And being in looove with him and-” He supposes he wasn’t being </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>subtle but that band </span>
  <em>
    <span>would </span>
  </em>
  <span>be lovely on Caleb’s hand-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t notice her face fall when he didn’t dispute until she walked around to infront of him. “Essek? Hey I didn’t mean to make you upset. I’m sorry if it was too much.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The crack in her voice draws him away from the window and he’s faced with such an earnest look on her. He places his hands on her round shoulders and smiles. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, forgive me Jester. I was in my own thoughts. If truth be told, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do </span>
  </em>
  <span>wish to marry Caleb. If I maybe so bold, it was one of the reasons I wished to accompany you tod-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gets no further as two strong arms grip around his body and hug him close, a squeal of </span>
  <em>
    <span>delight </span>
  </em>
  <span>reverberating against his chest. A little winded but glad, he ignores the few stares of those around and encompasses her with his own arms, returning her squeeze.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they part, glistening tears are forming in her eyes and a grin like no other squishing her face. It’s pure joy and if Essek isn’t a little emotional at the display then he was a liar. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh- oh </span>
  <em>
    <span>Essek </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’m so happy! He’ll </span>
  <em>
    <span>of course </span>
  </em>
  <span>say yes! How could he not! You got </span>
  <em>
    <span>not a bad butt</span>
  </em>
  <span> after all!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Essek gave a watery chuckle at her ecstatic display, and lets her go. After that there was simply no stopping her. She grabs his hand and all but drags him into the shop. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They peruse the various presented wares, Jester making comments left and right. Essek was more contemplative, stopping at a pair of intertwined rings. They were obsidian black, a solid colour and -</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ewwww, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no </span>
  </em>
  <span>Essek. No.” Jester appears at his shoulder and follows his eyeline. He raises one fine eyebrow at her. “That’s too dark for Caleb. And you </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you want something to represent the other person.” He contemplates, regarding another set. He agrees with her. ““You know my mama has these rings that my dad gave her-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And she delivers a winding story as they walk around. It’s full of love and warmth and everything that Jester celebrates. He’s glad for this alone of today, for he does truly cherish her company. Even if she does try to persuade him to distract the owner so she can do something naughty to the sign ‘Boutique’. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They eventually end up leaving empty handed. She was right, Caleb deserved something special, representative. She’s practically vibrating with wedding ideas and is gesticulating wildly for the rest of their time alone, but that’s too far ahead for him to even contemplate right now. It makes him a little dizzy to think about if he’s honest. And a little bit giddy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he drops Jester back off at the Xhorhaus, softly declining her invitation in side, she goes on tip toes and gives him a little kiss on his cheek. She is calmer and quieter (‘puped out’ by her own words), but still shining brightly with her joy. He returns the favour to her hand. He’s rewarded with a tinkling laugh. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>happy Essek. Honestly. You’re good for him. And you know what? He’s good for you too. Let me know when I can start planning!” And with a twirl of her skirt and bags, she’s gone into the house. Before he leaves the garden, a soft sound of ringing bells surrounds him and he looks up to see Jester giggling on the balcony above, flashing a grin. He shakes his head fondly and waves at her goodbye. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Essek, worn out by the excursion, then fully departs for his own tower. He arrives feeling invigorated, emboldened, and inspired. And happy. Very happy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they had left the boutique, the proprietor was poorly hiding how grateful he was for a quieter storefront once more, but disappointed at the lack of purchase. But the selection offered </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>give Essek an idea. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It takes a few sketches and minor illusions to fully tinker (all while Caleb is fast asleep) with his idea but in the end he has his own ring designs. He’ll bring them to that jeweller in the morning and set an order. The moment draws nearer and he finds his heart speeding up at the thought. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Halfway done. So far all positive responses. He hopes his luck holds out.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Caduceus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Caduceus Clay always bewildered Essek. His calm demeanour and slow way of talking denoted humble origins, but the wisdom that he imparted upon the group occasionally was more profound than he had heard scholars of several consecuted lifetimes spout. </p>
<p>He also performed his own form of dunamancy with nature by hurrying along the decomposition process.</p>
<p>He also spoke with plants. Or at them. He wasn’t entirely sure if they… spoke back. It wasn’t the most unusual thing in Den Nein to say the least.<b></b></p>
<p>Essek and Caduceus rarely had time alone. Almost never. The closest they’d had was a few months ago keeping watch together on one of the few excursions Essek joined them on. He was companionable, and unassuming. You never had to make conversation to fill the silence, he was very content in himself and his friends. <b></b></p>
<p>Essek appreciated that about him. Which is why, one day when he accompanies the group back from the Lucid Bastion, freshly returned from Nicodranas, he gently pulls Caduceus to the side without fear of rebuttal. They stop in the Under-Arches and he indicates towards a secluded alcove.<b></b></p>
<p>A now-slightly tanned Caleb halts, but Essek waves him on with a soft smile and waits until - after shooting a curious look between the mismatched pair -  he jogs on to catch up with Fjord and Yasha. Both Caduceus and he watches until they’re all far out of view. <b></b></p>
<p>Caduceus turned to him slowly, languidly leaning on his staff with two hands. He is expectant, but not impatiently so. He appreciates that. Essek was floating- always in public - but still had to raise his face to the firbolg’s bent head. </p>
<p>“Forgive me, I hope to not keep you away long,” he starts politely.<b></b></p>
<p>“Oh that’s all right. That’s fine. Anything for a friend.” And he just smile at Essek. It’s not the condescending, tight grimaces of court attendees of the past. It’s...kind. And he had no basis for comparison for that before the Nein came along. He had smiles that he didn’t like on people, ones he knew hid twisted lies and false compliments between their teeth. He had improper smiles that were chastised out of him for being inappropriate for a member of Den Thelyss. <b></b></p>
<p>And then he met the Mighty Nein. And he’s seen sad smiles. Tight smiles, hiding fear, and hurt. Wide smiles that pinched their cheeks. Loving smiles. Smiles given across the room, thinking they were unseen by the recipient. Just natural ones. <b></b></p>
<p>And patient ones. <b></b></p>
<p>“I intend to ask Caleb to marry me. I am in the process of seeking the blessing of all of Den Nein as is custom in the Empire.” He hesitates, before pressing forward. “It would mean a very great deal to me, to receive your blessing Mister Clay.”<b></b></p>
<p>His current confidante waves a long hand in a dismissive gesture. “It’s Caduceus, please. And uhhh, well that’s...that’s certainly quite a task you’ve set yourself.” He’s quiet for a moment. “ But no. I’m afraid I don’t think it’s a good idea, though. If I’m very honest.”<b></b></p>
<p>Essek stills, hands clutching each other tightly. This is...unexpected. Out of all the Nein he figured Caduceus to offer the least resistance to bestowing his blessing. In fact he could almost have wagered on it- <b></b></p>
<p>“To go straight into marriage without finding your, uhhh, romantic compatibility seems a bit of a jump. You would want to make sure you were right for each other first.”<b></b></p>
<p>To say the wind was knocked out of him would be an understatement. Essek visibly sways despite floating and releases a tight breath. <b></b></p>
<p>“Wh- what do you mean Mist- Caduceus? I don’t understand.” <b></b></p>
<p>“Well…,” he starts off. “From what I understand, and have experienced,  generally people like to spend time together as a couple before committing to something so permanent. Declarations of love and … yeah.” <b></b></p>
<p>Polite as he can be without cracking with incredulous disbelief, Essek explains. “Caduceus. Caleb regularly stays at my tower.” <b></b></p>
<p>“Well….yeah. Your research - I won’t pretend to understand it- but I know what you are both like when set on something. Sleep and rest is second to you two when you’re like that.” And he just tilts his head like it’s the most obvious explanation in the world. <b></b></p>
<p>“Caleb and I have been courting for some time now.” <b></b></p>
<p>He is simply given a blank stare in return, blinking slowly.  <b></b></p>
<p>Essek, for want of a better word, simply gapes. How… how does he not know? Caleb has been very open as far as he’s aware about their relationship. They’ve not been obscene with their affection in public but it’s definitely relaxed around the Nein. A hand touch here, a sweet kiss there. Once, on a drunken evening of celebrating a birthday Caleb had laughed loudly (beautifully) at something Beau said, and just rested his hand on Essek’s knee. Right in front of everyone. Essek still recalls tracing the path of his thumb as it danced back and forth comfortably. It was nothing more than a simple moment, but it was significant to Essek that he couldn’t articulate. Like Caleb was proudly announcing to his Den, his family, that Essek belonged with him. They had been teased a little for it, but only for a bit. <b></b></p>
<p>And now he can only splutter most disgracefully, unable to formulate a response that isn't outright rude. <b></b></p>
<p>And then Caduceus chuckles, a low rumbling sound that works his way up from his chest, bubbling out of him. The hand that waved away the formalities settles near Essek’s neck, bobbing Essek a little. He’s probably feeling Essek’s panicking pulse - <b></b></p>
<p>“Just a little prank to mess with you. Family rite I’m afraid.” He lowers his head to level with Essek’s gaze, foreheads almost touching. “Of course you will always have my blessing, Essek. I love you.” His kind eyes crinkle. “And so does Caleb. And really isn’t he the one that matters most here?“ <b></b></p>
<p>And there’s a trickle of heat- a comforting, healing heat- that spreads from each of his fingers through Essek’s entire being. He’s not sure if Caduceus cast anything, or if the words alone are jarring him, but the world is becoming a little bit blurrier. <b></b></p>
<p>The hand moves to cup his cheek, and pats it gently. His voice is a soothing whisper. “You’ve walked a long hard road, Essek. A lot of it was on your own. You stumbled. You fell. Badly. But we found you hobbling along, and dragged you back up. And you took the first steps on your own after that. We just hovered behind to catch you if you tripped again. Now look at you. You’re running. Not away from anything. Not from your mistakes or penance. But towards something. Towards Caleb. And a bright, loving future. With him. And us. And you know what? Yeah. I think that’s pretty great.” <b></b></p>
<p>Essek’s face is in his hands immediately, teeth grinding as he bites back hot tears.This was not the intended outcome of this conversation at all. The gentle hand guides him close into a hug, long arm wrapping around him and Essek’s shoulders tremble. <b></b></p>
<p>“There, that’s better. You’ve got this. You’ve got this. I’m glad you’re talking with us about this. Yeah. You’re a great addition to this weird family, Essek. Marrying Caleb is just another way of proving that.” <b></b></p>
<p>He dodges Caleb’s curious inquiry later, citing his puffy eyes on a few late nights recently. And when Caleb falls asleep in his arms, he pulls the man tighter, burying his face in his fiery hair. <b></b></p>
<p>Essek was growing impatient. He wanted to ask, beg, plead Caleb to marry him. It was on the tip of his tongue with every kiss, every spell, every discussion, and argument. But he was so close to getting all their blessings. <b></b></p>
<p>It started out as an Empirical tradition, a ritual. But now Essek needed to hear that they approved. That he wasn’t an outsider. That he truly belonged. That he was worthy of Caleb’s love. Of their love. </p>
<p>Soon. He would hopefully have all their blessings soon. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Veth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Nott- or Veth, she was now. Had always been really. The name still slipped out of them sometimes. Fondly, fully of memory though.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was the hardest to track down, flitting between the Nein and her husband and son.  And even then, the Brenattos were between Nicodranas and Felderwin. A very active and on-the-go family. Occasionally they visited the Xhorhaus as a unit, but more often than not she was on her own if Luc had school and Yeza work. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb was visiting the Conservatory today, aiding Beauregard with research for a Cobalt Soul issue. This left him with the freedom to visit their home and seek her out without being caught. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord greets him in the entryway when Essek arrives, hopping as he pulls on his boots. He slides by as he goes to head out. “Hey Essek! Can’t speak, gotta run- meeting Wursh for a drink! Bye!” He hurriedly pushes passed catching the door before it closes and is gone in a flurry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Typical Nein behaviour. Essek stumbles through a greeting and goodbye in a mush of words, and drops his levitation spell. Before he’s left the entry way the chimes sounds again and Essek turns to see Fjord’s head sticking through the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, hey! You er...you know, </span>
  <em>
    <span>asked the question</span>
  </em>
  <span> yet?” Essek feels his face heat up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“N-no, I have not. Still got to ask Veth. Have you seen her?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ooft, good luck with that. I figured we’d’ve heard if you had but just wanted to double check. Uh yeah last I heard she was tinkering upstairs in the lab doing who-the-fuck knows what.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, thank you. Enjoy your er, drink?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh shit! Yeah! Gotta go- bye!” and he’s gone in another flash of green. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chuckling, Essek wanders through the house. Multiple paintings (mostly Jester’s) litter the walls. Crooked and teetering some of them, the colours clashing wildly with the prestigious original decor and foundations of this house. Going up the stairs, on the walls there’s stick figures and funny scenes, rude words crossed out as though it was a child’s chalkboard.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Essek recalls exiting the study with Caleb one night, and finding Jester, Beau, and Veth sitting in pyjamas on the stairs giggling and the latter two a little drunk. They had paintbrushes in hand and tongues sticking out in amusing concentration. Yasha sat on the top stair painting intently, but smiling nonetheless. Her contribution was a delicate flower chain of black and white. He passes light fingertips over it as he ascends. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Along the corridor with their bedroom doors, similar paintings dot about. There is however, right at the top of the stairs, a group painting of fifteen or more people. A scroll painted beneath them all bears the writing: Welcome to the Mighty Nein!  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Simple in execution, varying in style, it looks as though they mostly each painted themselves. Jester was beaming, brandishing a lollipop, all colour and bright near the middle. She had her weasel over her shoulder and dog at her ankles in fine detai. A happy looking black kenku dances by her knees with a dagger in hand. Fjord stands behind her, block coloured and a bit square-shaped but very distinct. Veth was to her right, round and yellow with hands on her hips. Her braids stuck out perpendicular to her head. A caricature of Yeza (with big sideburns) and Luc (toothy grin) cheer behind her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yasha was tall on the end, thick arms crossed and little (Jester-added) wings sprouting from her shoulders. Caduceus, next to Fjord, was thin and wiry, a soft addition in pink and green. Little flowers of varying colours were in his hair. Three beetles scurry up his clothes. Beau was all angles and blue, posing in what she supposed was a ‘cool’ display. Little stars were flying from her hands. Hearts were floating around her head. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And there was Caleb, not in scale to the rest, like he’d drawn himself smaller standing off to the side a little. Frumpkin was carefully detailed around his neck. And there, with connecting hands, drawn in the same style, though with what appeared to be fresher paint, was Essek. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Essek had more detail to him than Caleb’s figure. Like shading on the mantle. Hair drawn with purpose, rather than just a shape of monochrome attached to his face. He wasn’t floating. Eyes eternally fixed on Caleb. A small smile on his lips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kind of how he looked now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He ignored the other figures on the mural to touch painted-Caleb, selfishly wondering if he could ask him one day to add rings to this picture. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A sound of breaking glass shatters his ruminations and he looks to the closed door of the laboratory. Several cusses ensue and a muttering of angry words follow. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh man</span>
  </em>
  <span>, as Jester would say. He sure did pick his moments. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>close. And this was the one he dreaded most. With one last glance to the figures, those he’d already gained blessings from, he steels his nerves and walks with purpose to the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He falters at knocking, still hearing Veth knocking about, but raps louder on the second try. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?! Who is it?! Come in!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He enters and truly it’s a mess. Two beakers, their contents spilt and smoking up as Veth frantically throws cloths at it to clean it. He takes pity, waving a prestidigitation spell and it’s gone before the fumes fill the room. She looks at him, goggles on her face, apron donned, and gives a beckoning motion. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hey</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Heeey! Thanks, Essek. Caleb’s out with Beau at the moment if you’re after him.” She collects the damp clothes and chucks them in a bin. She then strides to throw open the windows. Her hair is frizzy with heat and sweat as she lifts her goggles and divests of her leather gloves. Like her portrait outside, she rests her hands on her hips surveying her ruined work.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not an issue. And thank you, but it’s you I came to see, actually.” This was it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She stops gathering the stained papers and looked at him closely. He closes the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh? You’re not here to murder me are you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not today.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She grins at him. “Okay then, dish the dish, bish. What can I do you for? Listen if it’s a potion for you and Cay-Cay I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> getting involved in that but I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can</span>
  </em>
  <span> recommend-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Essek raises a hand to halt her right there. What is it about them that thinks he would openly talk about his sex life?  “Nope! </span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>, ah thank you but we are, er, </span>
  <em>
    <span>quite </span>
  </em>
  <span>happy in that aspect of our relationship. No external influence required.” He coughs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, all right. I mean no judgement here,” and she throws her hands up. “I just know that sometimes a man needs a bit of a boost is all when things </span>
  <em>
    <span>reaaaally </span>
  </em>
  <span>get going, you know?” she makes a clicking sound with a wink. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He suppresses a wince. “That’s- nope. Ah, I’m going to just- ahem. Right. Mrs. Brenatto. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Veth</span>
  </em>
  <span>. May I?” He indicates the desk with two chairs and she raises one thick eyebrow at him. </span>
  <span></span>
    <br/>
  
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“ ‘Mrs. Brenatto?’ You’re acting strangely just now. What’s up, Essek?” She tentatively crosses the room, stepping over the brushed - aside shards, and sits down. Her hands fiddle with the necklace of buttons at her throat. He notes that there’s a few added that would be more likely to be found in Kryn fashion.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He regards her. They had been through a fair amount together, both as a pair and with the Nein. He was there for the breakthrough of the Transmogrification spell, and witnessed the resulting first failed attempt. Sadly he missed her true changing, but it had been described to him as a beautiful sight to behold… even if Jester’s mother lost her lavish bath tub. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She had paralysed him, and tricked him before hearing him out and still welcoming him to their band of misfits. It had taken him a long, </span>
  <em>
    <span>long </span>
  </em>
  <span>time to truly let that welcome sink in. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Veth had the most reason however to disavow his relationship with Caleb. While she kept an eye on them, and checked in with Caleb (he was told) about Essek and if he was treating ‘her boy’ right, she had never outright stated that they were a bad fit. But she had been guarded. After all, despite welcoming him, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>lied to them, schemed around them at first, imprisoned her husband, starved and interrogated him, and endangered their son as a result. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They had spoken about it once. Him and Yeza. Essek had sat across from him, hands clasped hard, head bowed. Not even asking for forgiveness- how could he ask that from the man whose child you put in harm’s way?- but for understanding. And Yeza. Quiet, sturdy Yeza listened. And they spoke deep into the night. And Essek was tasked with one thing from him. Do no more harm. Not to innocents, not like was done to him and his family. Essek took this vow very seriously. But it didn’t mean he was in the clear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Yeza’s family included Veth. And Veth’s family included Caleb. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Veth would never let Essek harm Caleb, or even be put in a position to do so. Courting and consorting with him was one thing. She treated it casually. Something just beyond a fling or tryst. A fun thing for Caleb to enjoy. But marriage was commitment, and intent. Caleb would make the decision himself, and Essek nervously felt that after their brief talks, that Caleb would most likely accept. But to not have Veth’s blessing would be a dark cloud over them. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed </span>
  </em>
  <span>to convince her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he couldn’t do that before asking. He steeples his fingers and leans forward, not quite holding her discerning gaze. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have a request. A very… </span>
  <em>
    <span>selfish </span>
  </em>
  <span>one, I’ll grant. It’s-” he looks into her dark eyes. And takes a deep breath. “I want to marry Caleb, Veth. I intend on asking for his hand, and marrying him if he accepts. He is an incredible man, both as a person, and an accomplished wizard. And I-  I love him very much. It would mean a great deal to us if I could have your blessing to marry him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If the weight of the air around them wasn’t so heavy and dense, he may have found her shocked expression very funny. Her lips formed a round ‘o’ and her thick eyebrows disappeared to her hairline. Her fingers had stilled on her buttons. The only sound was that of the street from the open window. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You want… to marry...</span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> Caleb?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nods. “Yes. I do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Absolutely not.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had been expecting it. Anticipating it. Running through this very conversation in his mind for the last month. Out of all the negative outcomes with any of the Nein, hers was the one he had envisioned most clearly. And yet, hearing the words come out of her mouth stung harsher than “</span>
  <em>
    <span>we do not trust you</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” all that time ago. He fails to hide his grimace, flinching as though struck, and it shames him to show it.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It doesn’t stop her. She leans back, arms crossed.  “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>honestly </span>
  </em>
  <span>think that you’re worthy of Caleb Widogast?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He snaps up at that, expression hard. “No, actually. I don’t. He is one of </span>
  <em>
    <span>the </span>
  </em>
  <span>most complex, emotional people I’ve ever had the fortune of the universe to even cross paths with. His mind is brilliant, his ideas are nothing short than stellar. I’ve been on this planet for over a century and I have never met </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone </span>
  </em>
  <span>like him. He is everything I needed in my darkest time, my own personal beacon. He is </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything </span>
  </em>
  <span>I aspire to be as a man, and more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have done awful, terrible things. And so has he. But he has shown me a path to forgiveness. To changing. To acknowledging and fixing my mistakes. I won’t forget what I have done, but I won’t let it stop me loving him. Loving </span>
  <em>
    <span>all </span>
  </em>
  <span>of you. He taught me to remember my sins, and to let them guide me, but not weigh me down. I cannot change the world if I am wallowing in my own personal hell. He offered a hand, and a kiss, and a second chance and I clung to that with all the strength I possessed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I may not be worthy of Caleb Widogast. But it’s not going to stop me from spending all of my lives trying to be.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He is standing now, chair shoved back harshly, hands clasped in fists and chest heaving. He’s angry. At her. At himself. At the world. Because she’s right. Why should he deserve Caleb?  Happiness might be the very last thing he deserves, but he is a humble, selfish creature. This is penance, and he will prove that his atonement is real. That his love is a good thing for this world. And for Caleb.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t realise Veth is standing also until she tugs his sleeve. It takes a monumental amount of effort to look down. Thick tears roll from her eyes over her rounded cheeks and she has a hint of a smile. He tastes salt on his lips. Oh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s all I needed to hear. You take care of my dearest friend, you hear?” Her voice is shaky and watery “Or </span>
  <em>
    <span>else</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I know where you live Thelyss.” And </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh </span>
  </em>
  <span>Essek cannot form words any more. His tongue is thick in his throat, his apple bobbing with each successive breath. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gives her a solemn nod, gritting his teeth tight, and feels matronly arms wrap around his waist. After a moment, his own arms clasp around her. She gives a squeeze and they just stay there for a little while longer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Two left.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Two left. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Mollymauk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It had taken a fair amount of convincing on his part, but Essek managed it. Caleb thought he was on a diplomatic affair for his Den, nothing he needn’t concern himself with. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Enjoy time with the Nein, I’ll be back soon enough</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he had said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb kissed him deeply, hands digging into his waist, unwilling to let go. Until he did. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Stay safe, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he was told. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’ll see you when you return.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>And he will. So Essek donned more suitable travelling gear, and after studying a map extensively, with some subtle enquiries from Beauregard, managed to teleport to the north of the Empire. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Disguise fully in place, a less ostentatious version of Desran, he procured a horse and travelled further. He had to stop twice, fearing he’d gone too far, but his calculations said he was on the right course.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then he found it. Late in the evening of the second day. It was as Caleb had described to him one night many months ago. Two hills across each other, a stump and boulders. And oh- </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Across the way, just in eyesight but off the beaten path was a curious sight. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wildflowers of all colours sprouted in a circle. Nothing like any other flora in the surrounding area. And in the cold of this autumn. But there they were, defiant and healthy. Refusing to wither.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He dismounted and tethered his horse nearby. There were no travellers in the immediate vicinity in either direction that he could see, and so he approached cautiously, reverently, to the softly swaying, intact coat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Essek had learned of Mollymauk Tealeaf through a few slurred discussions with the Nein. He was mostly brought up in late night, drunken conversations. Memories would come forth wistfully, sadly. But always fondly.  Caleb had told him once of how Mollymauk had aided him in battle, during a particularly severe episode. Of a kiss to the forehead. Of a promise to leave the world better than he had found it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Molly was the most colourful character in the Nein group portrait at the Xhorhaus. Amongst the others- such as a half-dragon woman, a haloed woman holding what he </span>
  <em>
    <span>thinks </span>
  </em>
  <span>is bread, a man with a cloud of white hair and a humming bird, and a curious assortment of other friends and family they had made, Molly had pride of place beside the Nein. He donned a flashy red coat, and a cocky grin. Jester had added a little halo around his head, and a trail of cards falling from him to her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And now he stood before the man’s grave. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The garment was red indeed, decorated with many bright symbols. Most, Essek recognised. Some he didn’t. Others were lost and hidden in the folds and he dare not disturb it to sate curiosity. Instead he paved a soft path through the knee-high wilderness before bringing himself to the mound.  He parted the grass as carefully as he could and knelt down, almost losing himself amongst the vibrant array. The coat fluttered a little. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He inhaled deeply, appreciating the crisp northern air and perfumed scent. He sits for a while, basking in the personal sanctity of this site. He drops the illusion, baring himself as he has to all other members of the Nein. Knowing his history of who lay below him, Essek felt that he owed the man that much. When he feels ready, he closes his eyes and speaks to the wind. He doesn’t have a speech prepared per se, but he has had a long time on the journey to think about it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello Mister Tealeaf- </span>
  <em>
    <span>Mollymauk</span>
  </em>
  <span>. We- we never had the chance to meet. And I’m very sorry for that. I’ve heard nothing short of,” he chuckles a little, “scandalous things about you to be quite honest. But I feel like I owe you for my life in a way.” He pauses, fisting his chilling hands into his cloak. “You see, I did some stupid things. Very, </span>
  <em>
    <span>awfully </span>
  </em>
  <span>stupid things. Things that had grander consequences than I was prepared for. And I- I hurt a lot of people. Some I knew. Most I didn’t.” He frowns to himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But then came along your friends. The Mighty Nein. And - and they saved me. Saved me from the Assembly. From the wrath of the Bright Queen and her court. And from myself. Mostly myself. Especially- </span>
  <em>
    <span>especially </span>
  </em>
  <span>Caleb.” His breath hitches a little. “And as well as thanking you, for the impact and influence you had on your- </span>
  <em>
    <span>our </span>
  </em>
  <span>strange band of friends, and somehow sending them my way, I wanted to ask for your support. For your good wishes. For you see, I love this man. With everything I hold dear and more.” He stops, a choke threatening his voice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s changed me, in no small part to yourself, but also because he’s worked so hard to change himself. ” His hands close tighter, scratching at his breeches. “I wish to marry him, Mollymauk. Selfishly, I want to see where he goes next, what he’ll accomplish. Who he’ll save. And I want to be by his side supporting him while he does it all. I want to be his husband.  And I wanted - no, </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed </span>
  </em>
  <span>to ask </span>
  <em>
    <span>all </span>
  </em>
  <span>of the Mighty Nein for their blessings. And well, that includes your fine self.” A tear leaves a solitary trail along his face. And then another completes the symmetry. And then more. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The wind chills his ears as he stops. He is trembling, though whether it’s from his own emotions or the northern cold he couldn’t say. All he knows is that his blood is pounding in his ears, and he knees are wet in the grass, and his soul is bared to the world for any to hear. But hopefully one person in particular. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He waits. And listens. And opens his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s no visible difference. The coat is still swaying in the breeze, the flowers following its dance. No answer. Of course there isn’t. He shouldn’t be surprised at all. And yet there’s a tug of rejection despite rational though. He hangs his head, his chin hitting his chest and shoulders slumped. He must look an odd sight amongst such wild beauty. All carefully organised and coordinated style amongst such natural disorder. His dark colouring lost amongst the chromatic sea of life. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sat there for a long time, watching the carefree sway of the coat. It was mesmerising. It must have been even more so upon the man he had heard so much about. Jester had altered her appearance once, just to show him what he looked like. Despite her loud announcement amid the conversation about him, it was still harrowing to see how heartbroken the Nein were at her changing. Yasha’s devastated expression had stuck with him the most. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It had only been a momentary pain on their faces, most of them breaking into sad smiles as Jester modelled pirate clothes she’d used once upon a time. It dissolved into further pre-Dynasty adventure stories and she changed back. But the image of them in fleeting grief tugged at his chest.   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had been a striking man, that much was obvious. Full of vibrant vitality. Life cut too short too soon. A brighter candle burning twice as fast. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And what a scorching mark he had left on the world. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Essek’s thoughts became still and quiet the longer he stayed. Soon dusk was upon him and he decided that Mollymauk was not going to bestow his blessing today. Or at all. So he painfully pushed himself to standing, feeling the cold in his bones and the ache in his legs. Levitation helped relieve some of the discomfort. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With one last, long, sorrowful look at the robe, Essek turned to go back to his horse. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And found a grazing peacock standing beside it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The breath left Essek in a puff of white as he watched this peacock lift its head, paying him attention. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Its eyes were a striking red, and as it unfurled its plumage, Essek could see this was no ordinary animal. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The feathers were magnificent. Prismatic and animated. There, inset in the biggest, most central ones was one, two, three - </span>
  <em>
    <span>nine </span>
  </em>
  <span>red eyes. The head of the peacock was a brilliant shade of purple, and it made a deliberate show of moving in his direction. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Essek lowered himself to the ground, and then lowered himself further. Once more he found himself kneeling before Mollymauk Tealeaf. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The bird did not blink as it approached. And when it was no more than a foot away, Essek held his breath. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They stare at one another, taking them in. It was truly a magnificent creature. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then, as the last vestiges of sunlight dipped over the hill, giving away to the nighttime darkness, the peacock leaned forward and pressed his beak to Essek’s forehead. Right between the eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The breath came out in a shuddering sigh and then the pressure was gone. Essek hadn’t realised he had shut his eyes tight until he opened them again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And found the clearing empty. All but him and his horse occupied the area now. But looking down, Essek could see the shape of distinct tracks in the frosting greenery. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Frumpkin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Essek had one last member to ask. One final one. Arguably the most important member to Caleb. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Essek and Caleb lay sated in his bed. Caleb was draped </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>nakedly over Essek, and was now snoring softly into his chest. It was one of his favourite feelings in the world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His fingers carded the red hair, still a little slick with sweat and exertion. Evidence of their hungry appetite tonight. What had started as a testing phase of development of another spell, dissolved into positive results and incredulous cheering. Caleb was almost always physical with his joy in moments like these, and had grabbed Essek’s face to thoroughly kiss him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>From there it had simply travelled in a trail of clothes and breathy declarations to their bedroom where hours later, Essek now lay with a sleeping, thoroughly worn out wizard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled the sheets up over them further as Caleb gave a little shiver, his nose rubbing against Essek’s chest in his search for more heat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man was usually a walking furnace, warm to the touch and scalding to love. But in the depths of night, Essek found himself offering himself as insulation and would happily wrap around him to keep him from being cold. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A movement at the foot of the bed catches his attention, and Essek watches as Frumpkin pads along the silken sheets before coming to sit beside them. He leans into a long, languid stretch. Essek glances to the familiar and down at his lover. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Frumpkin, I hope you don’t mind,”  his voice is a low whisper. “But I’m going to ask your master- your friend- to marry me tomorrow. I’d very much like your blessing, if you think that’s all right.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frumpkin finished his stretch and sat up very straight. Very still, in fact. He peered deeply at Essek, his nose twitching. Eyes narrowed. Essek gave him his full attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The familiar gives a hiss, baring his teeth, hackles raised. In a pique of he doesn’t know <em>what</em>, Essek raises his chin, and bares his throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frumpkin stands and prowls forward, deliberately. Carefully. Just stopping shy of Caleb’s head. He gives a harsh noise, his paw lifting in a swiping manner- and </span>
  <em>
    <span>pats </span>
  </em>
  <span>Essek’s hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then in a streak of orange, he’s gone off the bed and back out the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Essek releases his last tense breath, and smiles deeply. He presses a kiss to Caleb’s head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was it, the last of them. Something settled in Essek’s chest, like another puzzle piece fitting in just right. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And here was one piece left. The biggest, the most important central piece. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Tomorrow</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he hoped. Tomorrow he hoped that piece would complete the puzzle and make Essek finally whole. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Caleb</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a significant day for Caleb Widogast. But he wouldn’t know it, not immediately. Not when he awoke in the arms of his dozing lover. Or when he kissed his nose, and silver eyes reflected back at him with a crinkle. They lay lazily, luxuriously together for a long time, legs intertwined. Essek’s arms were firm around Caleb’s shoulders, while his own held fast to his beloved’s waist. </p>
<p>Unfortunately responsibility and duty called, and they had things to accomplish. So with exaggerated protest, they both left the safe comfort of their bed, and prepared for the day ahead. </p>
<p>Essek- quick to dress- went ahead to start breakfast, despite Caleb’s protests to come help. He was silenced with a kiss, and Essek whisked out of the room. And so Caleb was left with the chore of tidying up the bedroom and readying himself for the day. </p>
<p>The washroom held many of his toiletries and sundries now, not a few being gifts from Essek himself. Subtle fragrances for when he liked, functional soaps that left him feeling clean and soft. Scrubs that he sometimes used when returned from adventuring to refresh himself, and oils for when massages were needed to work away any knots. Those in particular were replenished on a frequent basis.  </p>
<p>He combs his hair and pulls it back, feeling the scratch of his stubble coming through on his cheek. Essek says he doesn’t care much for it, but it amuses Caleb how much he touches his face when it’s growing in. Or how much he keens at the feeling whenever Caleb’s cheek drag across his skin-</p>
<p>He fits himself with today’s garments, a clean Xhorhassian cut of deep blue, with fitted breeches to match. “It compliments your eyes,” he was told by his lover, and ties his component pouch and belt around him. His book holster is affixed and settled. He pulls on his socks and boots, and regards himself in the bedroom mirror. </p>
<p>Presentable. Becoming, almost. <em> Handsome and tempting, </em> Essek would whisper. He smooths the garment over his chest, remembering some darker marks that now lay beneath his clothes, and with a shy grin, exits to go below. </p>
<p>The smell of food cooking draws him immediately to the kitchen where he does find food being cooked, but no sign of Essek. A meow behind him draws his attention. </p>
<p>Frumpkin sits, at the entrance of the study, looking at him. </p>
<p>“Was ist est, mein freund? Wo ist Essek?”  Frumpkin beats his tail once on the floor before getting up and bounding through to the next room. </p>
<p>Bewildered by his familiar’s behaviour, he follows through. </p>
<p>Essek stands there, in the middle of what has become their shared space and sanctum, holding his hands tightly, head slightly bowed. </p>
<p>“Essek? <em>Meine Liebe</em>, I don’t - is everything all right?” </p>
<p>The man before him looks up, a tender smile crossing his features. “Caleb! Will you come sit with me please?” and he holds out a hand. Caleb takes it without hesitation and follows him to their chairs. He sits down in his, still very confused and watches as Essek perches at the edge of his.</p>
<p>“Caleb,” he starts, not looking at him. “ I have a confession to make.” And if that doesn’t raise some alarms. They’re still holding hands, and Essek must feel the tightening of Caleb’s grip. He gives a squeeze back. </p>
<p>“I confess that I have been meeting your friends in private. One on one. For I had an important question for each of them.” Caleb’s brow furrows as he leans in.  “I asked for their blessing, for I found it was an appropriate tradition in the Empire.”</p>
<p>“Blessing? But- Essek I don’t understand. What tradition?” </p>
<p>Essek’s face blossoms into a genuine smile. He’s beautiful. He almost misses his next words in his distraction. “Why, for me asking to marry you of course.” </p>
<p>And then Essek is on his knees, cupping Caleb’s hands on his lap and holding his gaze with such a burning passion that Caleb struggles to process what he just heard. </p>
<p>“Caleb Widogast. Once you told me that you and I were both damned. But that we also had the chance to leave this world a better place than we found it. You were not part of my plan. Not any of it, and then you appeared in the centre of my country’s court, holding aloft one of the very beacons I had spirited away.” He takes a breath, smile widening. “You unknowingly became <em> my </em>beacon that day, Caleb. You burned your way through my mantle and my icy exterior to brand yourself on my heart and soul. I am now wholly dedicated to you with a fervor I have never expressed or felt before. Not in my years of study, or my research. Nothing.” He leans his forehead to touch his own, their eyes still on each other. </p>
<p>Caleb can’t breathe, and yet Essek breathes for him. His chest is aching with anticipation, the pounding of his heart threatening to tear him open with the amount of love he is holding, with the apprehension of what is happening right now. </p>
<p>“Caleb, you once told me that you and I were both damned,” his voice is barely a whisper. “If <em> this </em> is what being damned is, spending my life with you, hopefully as your husband, lover, confidante, and friend, then <em> so be it </em>.” </p>
<p>His breath is coming thick and fast now, Essek matching as their mouths are a hair’s breadth away. Their hands are intertwined and Caleb daren’t be the first to let go. </p>
<p>“Caleb Widogast. Will you do me the honour of marrying me? Knowing all my faults and sins, knowing who I am. Will you allow me to commit my soul to you, and love you for the rest of our lives? Will you accept me into your family, and allow me to become a part of your Den?”</p>
<p>He can’t take it any more and in a moment quicker than though, he captures Essek in a heated kiss, releasing his hands to grip to his head, his hair, his neck, everywhere he can touch. He slides off the chair to his knees, pressing against Essek every way he can, undoing all his careful dressing this morning without a single care. </p>
<p>When they part, husky and wrecked, grinning like idiots, Caleb gives his answer, wholeheartedly and meant.  </p>
<p>
  <em> “Yes.” </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wow! If you've made it this far then *thank you* so, so much. This was the result of a fun, manic conversation on the ETFC Discord server and if you're from there I love you guys so much. </p>
<p>I need some wholesome Essek fluff right now, and I hope that this story brought as much comfort to you to read as it did me to write &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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